I have been really down on myself lately about this blog. Mainly, because there is so much I want to write about and haven’t finished posts or projects enough to get them up. I started this blog to talk about my love of art and design including home design, art, inspired people and the dumpy house that we have been bringing back to life for the last year. It was a concise little package wrapped up in Well Scituated, but it hasn’t quite gotten as much of my attention as I’d like. Now the real confession, I’ve been cheating most of the year on my love for design, I haven’t given it my full attention. There is someone else, one who has taken so much more of my time and energy and inspiration and I’m not even apologetic for it, because the truth is, I’m a mama.
Ainsley, our amazing little girl has been occupying much of my time ever since I found out I was pregnant last February. I won’t bore you with the complaints of the pregnancy, it could be a book and a tiresome of one too, but it wasn’t ‘magical’ is all I will say for now and I have a huge appreciation for those who can eat sugar. Then, our little nugget arrived in October, all 8lbs 13 oz of her and 10 days early (thank GOD) and I’ve been spending the last 3 months with a massive identity crisis. I’ve always been a creative. A painter, a designer and an idea person. Then came Randy and well, falling in love is easy, and staying in love is easier when have someone who really encourages you. I’ve loved being his wife- he really makes it quite easy to love him too as he’s pretty amazing (you can throw up now).
However, this whole mom thing is REALLY different. Forgetting metaphors for a second, husbands are not tiny little creatures who actually cannot function without you, as much as we’d like to think. Babies are, they are these mysterious little people who keep you guessing. They take up almost all of your time, your inspiration and energy just attempting to keep up and then you still wonder if you are ‘doing this right’. I say ‘almost’ because somehow, you still find yourself trying to do more, or at least I do. I won’t complain about how much work it is and how exhausting it its, nor get too mushy right now on how much I love to snuggle with her and kiss her ALL DAY LONG, and find myself wanting to nibble her toes, because well, this was supposed to be a design blog.
I guess I’m confessing all of this because I have to go back to work on Monday and a sitter will be watching Miss Ainsley while I go back to being a full-time designer. I realize that I can’t design anything as awesome as she is and that I’ve been keeping this huge part of my life off the blog. When I’m changing diapers or when someone is napping in her friends Avery and Charlie’s swing,
I have been thinking of this blog a lot and what well situated as a term really means… so I looked it up as I’m not really a writer, I just like to talk:
well-situated -1. having a good position or site: a well-situated airport 2. in a good position or situation to carry something out he was well situated as president 3. having sufficient funds; well-off in fortunate circumstances financially; moderately rich; “they were comfortable or even wealthy by some standards”; “easy living”; “a prosperous family”; “his family is well-situated financially”;
It’s that last part I got stuck on and thought, maybe there is a part of my mom-side that belongs here.
I realize that I’m actually still pretty creative and a much of it has been for Ainsley’s benefit. This will not be a blog on a mom gushing and posting every little picture and poop update, that’s apparently what Facebook is for. Before I had her, I didn’t know why people did that and now I know it’s because that’s all you have time to do. Ha! So I won’t turn this into a picture reel, I promise, but I will embrace being a creative mama and post more that will include her and get over the fact I can’t do it all at once. I dropped my design class this spring, put off painting the mudroom and will wait to start working on my paintings for a while and really try to balance. I still want to create and appreciate beautiful things, I guess my daughter counts as my best so far…
… dear god, I’ve become a sap! I think it’s the sleep depervation, I will apologize for that.